Bigメック Ortenのどでけぇイクサキカイをコシラエルゼぃ?(3)
おぅ!兄さんお早いおつきじゃねぇえか。
丁度積荷がどうにかこうにかアガッタところよ。
あ、まず運賃を前払いだぁ?タウクレジットか、銀河皇帝金貨でだと?へっ、相変わらずゴウツクじゃねぇか。
そっちのカンヅメん中に皇帝金貨がキッチリあらぁ。
運ばせるか?ポータルがあるから問題ないってか、手回しもはえぇやな。
今度の積荷はちぃとばかしかさばるぜぇ?
そうよ、このストンパよ。
あ?美的センスはともかく、デカくてつよそうだねぇだぁ?
おめぇイチイチひっかかるモノイイしやがるじゃねぇか。
恐れ多くも、ゴルク様だかモルク様だかの御姿を模してアラセラレル”ストンパ”様だぜ?つぇぇ上にイカしてるに決まってるのよ。
はぁ?サッチーみたいなポーズだねだぁ、よろしくねなんてイワネェゾ、コイツはよ。
ホンとはシルバーの予定が、あいにくとスプレー切れで余ってたゴールドにしちまったんだが、これはこれでありじゃねぇかってな。左目の切削に失敗して、やり直すのがめんどくせぇからレンズ型でゴマかしたってのはここだけの話だぜぃ。
そして右腕のデスキャノンよ。
キューポラがデカイのはスーパーロキットランチャをくっつける予定だったからよ。
時間の都合で割愛したがな。
おぅ、オレ様はタウ戦車にアウトレンジ射撃ばっか食らってたからよ、射程無限のハンターキラーみたいなモンに妙なコダワリがあるのよ。そいつぁまぁちがうはなしだがよぉ。
出来上がってみるとよぉ、なーんかどっかの戦車の砲塔をマンマくっつけたみてぇだが、マジで有り合わせなんだぜぃ?
ま、取りあえずデスキャノンつんどきゃアンパイだわな。
そして右手がタイタンクロースコンバットウェポン兼リフタドロッパよ。
リフタドロッパはよぉ、ちぃとばかしコムズカシイ操作が必要だからよ、Bigメック様が操縦しねぇとウゴカネェのよ。
その代わり、単細胞のヤロウドモはコイツでぶん殴れるようによ、ドデケェクロースコンバットクロウを付けてやったぜ。
コイツは屑鉄ヤマに適当なモンが無かったんで、オレ様特製の超合金クローよ。
何の合金かって?あーと、プラバンとタミヤエポパテのA剤とB剤ダナ。
おーっと、合金比率はヒミツだぜぇ?
とうとう茶色も金色も切れちまって、青スプレーしかなかったのよ。まぁ吹いてみたらコイツはコイツでアリじゃねぇか??ってな。
アフロのオヤジが言ってるダロ?”楽しいアクシデントです”ってなぁ。
何事も前向きに受け止めていきゃ大概のことは何でもねぇのよ。
アクシデントっていやぁよ、スチロールを素材にしたところに、ジェッソでコーティングしてからスプレーしたらよ、解けちまったのよ。
まぁそれはそれで、いい感じのモールドができたんでいいんだがな。
ジェッソでコーティングすりゃ、ラッカーでもヘイキってのは記憶違いだったんじゃろか??
コイツがインペリウムタイタンだったらよぉ、そりゃぁもぉガックリきただろうがよ、ORCならアリってわけさね。
調子こいてたら、一箇所だけそりゃぁもうひでぇ有様になった場所があるんだが、まぁ今度治せばいいって事でよ。
背中はこんな感じよ。
ORCのイクサキカイって言えばよ、やっぱ”マジやべぇ時”用の煙突が必要じゃねぇか。
あ、なんでヤベェ事になるようなもん作るんだって??
がはは、これだから軟弱なエルダー野郎はイケネェや。
いくさ場でよぉ、安全第一なんて言ってられるかってのよ。
踏ん張りが利くようにしとかにゃぁイケネェ。
まぁORCのヤロウドモは度胸があるからよ、ここぞってぇ時は使うと吹っ飛ぶぜ?7:3ぐれぇでって言っておいても使うわけよ。
モチロン吹っ飛ぶ方が7だがよ。
7:3の意味がわかってねぇって可能性もカナリたけぇがな。
煙突の横のはなんだって?
コイツはおめぇ、イザって時用のスーパブースタよ。
なんに使うんだってか?
そりゃおめぇ、イザって時に噴かすに決まってんだろうが。
どんな時に噴かすかって?おめぇさっきからイザって時だて言ってるじゃねぇか。
イザってどんなときなんだって?
はぁ?そんなもんそん時になってみねぇとワカるかよ。
わかってたらイザって時なんていわねェダロが。
ま、コイツは一種の”ジョウチョウセイ”って奴よ。
ホンとにエルダーってのはこまけぇなぁ。
おぅそれはそうと、コイツを早いとこ運んでくんな。
あーおめぇはちいせぇ方の船で来たのか。道理ではえぇわけだ。
じゃどうやって運ぶのよ。
てめぇんとこのちいせぇ方の船にゃ、こいつはのらねぇじゃねぇか。
あ、カバルの旗艦が追々来るから心配すんなって?
そりゃまた穏やかじゃねぇなぁ。
折角お祭りがあるのに参加しないてはない?
あーおめぇんとこは快楽殺人者のカバルだったな。
じゃなんでぇ、端からモノノついでで金を取ろうって魂胆かよ。
ホンとにゴウツクなやろうだなぁ、テメイはよぉ。
まぁいくさ場まで運んでもらえりゃそれでかまわねぇがな。
おぅ、じゃ行って来やがれ。
あ、またごひいきにだぁ?てめぇなんざクスリのやりすぎでおっちねばいいのよ!
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